Removing Selfish-Ambition from Blogging
I have written 4 posts. That’s right. FOUR and yet, the Lord has not released me to release them. I was sitting at my desk in sheer frustration because here I was pouring out all of me only to be met with a “Not yet.” from God.
What do you mean, “Not yet.”???
Don’t you see me waking early to pray and write??? Don’t you see me reading my word and gathering scriptures???? Don’t you see me really giving my all.
And that’s when God stopped me.
Giving my all? For who? Was I waking early to pray, gather scripture and write to bring glory to His name? Why was I so frantic to truly get my posts out there….my posts….not HIS. Mine.
I then REALIZED the heart behind my ambition. I had convinced myself that I was waking early and working hard to glorify God. Honestly, at first, I was but somewhere in there, I had let the enemy slip in. Some where in my praying, in my reading, in my writing; I had given the enemy a foot hold. I had given into ambition.
I had to answer a hard question asked by God.
“Just why are you so frantic to add new posts?”
The truth. I became frantic about getting posts out so that I can reach more readers. I was worried about how many pins I could have ready by tonight. I needed to have a post relatable to others ready for Wednesday when we share in the Facebook group I was a part of and suddenly, all of my hard work…became just that. MY hard work.
My heart fluttered. I was so ashamed. I promise I had the best intentions. I only wanted to glorify God with my blog. I only wanted to be excellent as He is excellent but I strove for the wrong thing.
1 Peter 1:16 says, Be Holy for I am Holy.
This is what I should strive to be. Not the best, because God is a favor of no persons. I should simply strive to be Holy.
I began to search the Bible as I felt a scripture come up into my spirit. I came across the book of James.
James 3: 14 says, “But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. This is not wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.”
I certainly wasn’t trying to be earthly, unspiritual or demonic. I was only trying to work hard, but the hidden agenda in my heart, that I didn’t even know about had reared its head. Acceptance. I wanted to write a post that was so moving, not to bring women to God but to feel accepted. To get likes and follows. To gain subscribers and somehow feel complete. Blogging was in fact becoming an idol and the Lord, loved me enough to show me before I headed down the wrong path.
Now, before you go jumping to conclusions as I did, bring it back and settle down. God did not say I couldn’t blog. In fact, He gave me this platform for a reason. What He did reveal to me is that the enemy will try to take everything God meant for His Kingdom and pervert it for evil, even in subtle ways. I did not notice that I had become ambitious and was working towards self fulfillment until the Lord pointed it out.
Instead of getting down and beating up on myself for missing the mark, again, I choose to cling to His word. That’s when I remembered the other night.
Two days ago the Lord woke me up to pray. I was in tears as His presence was so strong and He led me to Ephesians 6:10-18. This scripture talks about putting on the full armor of God, yet he had me focus on verse 18 that says ,
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching there-unto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.
I looked up the words supplication and perseverance. Supplication means to ask humbly and earnestly; with intensity and a serious mindset. Perseverance means continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure or opposition.
If you read the 12th verse, it states that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of the world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
I was in a spiritual battle and didn’t even realize it. So often when we read Ephesians 6, we focus on the battle gear…but we forget the directions on how to use the gear. PRAYER. This very chapter embodies the power of prayer and whats needed for it to be effective and efficient.
After studying Ephesians 6, I am better equipped to blog and here’s why. Instead of harboring self ambition, I put on my belt of truth, being honest with God about my intentions. I place on the breastplate of righteousness to guard my heart from things not of the Lord. I walk with my feet covered in peace, every where I go. I take my shield of the faith, trusting in who God says He is. I place on my helmet of salvation protecting my mind from the lies and tricks of the enemy and I carry the Sword of the Spirit in my heart and hand, ready to rely on the Word of God. And finally, I pray continuously. Despite any setbacks. Despite if I feel like it. And I become intentional, intense and serious about my prayers , watching out for myself and the saints.
If anything, through this experience, I have learned the enemy does not care what you are set out to accomplish. He as one goal, and that is to steal, kill and destroy any and everything that is of God. Take heed to this post. I urge you to check your hearts before the Lord for any selfish ambition hiding in the crevices and promoting itself as motivation or a spirit of excellence. This was hard lesson for me but now, I am prepared to pray continuously over my work to ensure it is of the Lord and birthed out of His grace, not my own.
If you’d like to read how God revealed awesome and Godly blogging tips to correct the foundation of my blog, then click here. These tips were inspired by the Holy Spirit and are tried and true. Also, as an excellent resource to christian blogging, check out Carmen Brown’s “By His Grace We Blog“.
For a FREE Heart’s Checklist Printable, click here! Get 7 scriptures and a prayer to ask God to check our hearts for selfish ambition!
Faith and Favor,