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Let’s talk about a subject that makes most people uncomfortable: FEAR. Now, as a fair warning, we do use Webster Dictionary quite a few times during this post. Okay? O.K. 😉 Let’s jump right on in:

By definition, fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. (-Good ole’ Webster 😊) Now this is interesting, because I want to address fear in a different way. I want to address the fear of success and the reason I want to do so, is because I suffer from this. I have prayed about this subject often quoting the scripture we all know; “For the Lord has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind- 2 Timothy 1:7” However, I have noticed that I do not truly understand what this scripture means therefore, I do not live it. I am pretty much afraid of everything. Afraid of bugs, robbers, thieves, confrontation, letting people down, lighting and thunder, losing loved ones, being a failure…and the list goes on. I’m even afraid of letting God down and not fulfilling my purpose here on earth.

You see, the thing with fear is that it debilitates you, meaning that makes you weak. Lets look at what debilitating means. According to my good friend Webster 😉, it means to make weak, HINDER, DELAY, CRIPPLE, DISABLE, PARALYZE, DRAIN, EXHAUST and make WEARY.

So…by definition, its safe for me to say, that fear HINDERS your your livelihood (as in your marriage, relationships, career, etc), delays your blessings, cripples your mind, disables your dreams, paralyzes your goals, drains your joy, exhausts your spirit and makes your life weary. -Gladys Higgins

(Oh snaps, I have to put that on a meme.👍🏾🙌🏾👏🏾)

It’s hard to fight the “good fight” when one is fearful.

Here’s the thing. We were never created to operate in the spirit of fear. That is what the scripture means. “For the Lord has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” God didn’t give it to us. Nope. Not Him. Had to be the other guy because my Jesus did not say during the creation of man, “Yo, God, Lets hit ’em up with that young spirit of fear while we at it.”It just didn’t happen guys. Instead He said, ” Lets create them in our likeness” (It’s all coming together now 💯) Well, what does the likeness of God look like?????? Hmmmmm, I dunno……..I guess sorta-kinda like LOVE (because He is love)…..and POWER (because is the all powerful)…..and a sound mind (because God is NOT up in heaven double minded). Yep. I hope you guys see what I’m trying to do here. I am trying to give you a picture of how we are supposed to be versus what we struggle with. You see, the Lord is beginning to show me the meaning of that 2 Timothy 1:7 and how to apply it.

Lets get to that. The ‘how to apply it’ part. I would like to be transparent and share my entire personal life with you for just one teensy weensy second:

As I stated before I am afraid of success. Does that mean I do not want to be successful????NO! I DESIRE to be successful in all I do but I have this fear deep inside of me that says,  “What if I am successful? Will I lose relationships I want with people because they wont be supportive? Will people reject me?”…..And here it is folks: My root of fear:REJECTION. I  am afraid to try most times because I believe that if I succeed, people will reject me and that thought alone, is enough to keep me from trying.

‘ If I really die out the Christ, will my family accept me or reject me? And if I slip up, will God turn His face from me? If I do what God tells me to, impossible things that only He can accomplish, but if I move with Him, will people think I’m crazy? If I really raise my child how God teaches me to, will they think I’m a bad momma?  -just a few of my fears written for the world to see

Nelson Mandela said it best:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

This post was not for the benefit of me bearing my open soul to the world (NOPE *shaking my head*), it was so you could see what being open and honest about my fears got me. By me being honest with God about what I was afraid of, though it started surface level (bugs, lightening and thunder etc), I eventually got to the true root of my fear which is rejection. Because of this fear, I have self-sabotaged myself in so many ways. An example of this is my weight loss: As in my earlier post, the Lord has laid it on my heart to start making healthier choices and honoring this temple (my body) He’s given me. I will do well for about 2 weeks and then fall off. It’s not that I don’t know what to do. Its not that I don’t care what to do. Its that I don’t know how I will feel if I succeed. I don’t know how people are going to react? I am afraid that if I walk confidently, if I achieve my goals, people around me will not be in support. Honestly, a lot of my fear has to do with other peoples opinions but that’s for another day. I am afraid to ‘take up space’. I’m afraid of what ‘Confident’ Gladys looks like.  None the less, I like to look at the scripture I quoted above and realize that I was never created to operate in the spirit of fear. That’s not my office.  I was created in my God’s likeness in that I should operate in the power He’s given me, and in love. I should not be double-minded in anything I do, but sure and solid footed because I have sought the Lord for direction.

So I end with this, if you have fears, take them to God and allow Him to open your heart and reveal what you are truly afraid of. Only then will you be able to release it to Him and begin the healing process. God has to clean out all that ‘stinking thinking’ and replace it with the truth. So please, please, if you heard nothing I said/wrote in this post, please hear this: You are a child of the King and He desires to set you free from your fears.

Love you much,

Gladys

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